On Hope, Desperate Times, and Our Laundry Conundrums

Well, folks. We’ve hit the inevitable point from which there is no escape. It’s that fork in the road of life: the turning point is upon us, and a decision must be made.

When we’ve run out of avoidance tactics, we must finally act. When life’s pressing questions back us into a corner, it’s what we do in these defining moments that forge our true character.


Yes, my friends, I’m talking about laundry. Yesterday I was forced to tackle the epic conundrum: will I go to Target to buy new underwear? Or will I actually do the laundry? This is not an easy decision, especially when you are wearing attire that is decidedly more “Wal-mart friendly” than “Target appropriate.”

All you mommas know what I’m talking about. Even a superficial glance at peopleofwalmart.com will tell you that no matter if you haven’t showered in weeks and you’re wearing footie pajamas, you’ll be acceptable at Wal-mart. But, sister, you better trade out those baggy sweatpants from high school for some Lululemon or Athleta yoga pants if you wanna head to the fancy establishment we affectionately pronounce “Tar-zhay”. That’s French for “pleasantly-lit retail store where middle class moms inevitably spend more than they plan.”

But on the other hand, @@the day’s to-do list is a tyrannical dictator@@ and every time you head downstairs to switch the load, you are distracted by the million-and-one things that also need your immediate attention (not least of which is your three year old who needs her bottom wiped). And before you know it, it’s bedtime and your kid has no clean underwear to lay out with tomorrow’s clothes. Whoops.

But, with all the odds that were stacked against me, I would just like to share a personal testimony from this very week. I’ll tell it in song-form, because it’s far more emotionally compelling:

“I have decided to do a white load, no turning back, no turning back.”

“This is my stooooory, this is my sooooooong

...shouting the stains ooooooouuut, all the day loooooooong.

This is my stooooooryyyyyy, this is my soooooooong,

...washing the laundry, all the day long.”

You can take a moment and offer a prayer of thanks on behalf of my family, because it was a really close call. Pretty soon we were going to pull the old “turn the underwear inside out” trick. (I’ve never personally tested this method, but my sister-in-law proudly testifies to it’s effectiveness from her experiments in college. God bless all her former roommates.)

I just thought with all the horrors happening in the world, I would do my part to share some good news and inspire some hope on this fine Wednesday. Happy Hump Day, friends! Halfway to the weekend! Soldier on!