A Smattering of Things...

In case you were wondering, friends, I did not fall off the face of the planet. But there are a few reasons I haven’t blogged in a couple weeks, so I will list them here in no particular order: 1.) We went to Kentucky! Ben and I have been trying to find a time to visit my grandparents for a ridiculously long time. We’ve also been trying to come up with a fun but fairly economical family vacation with the girls, so we just decided to combine the two and spontaneously did it a couple weeks ago! I am so, so very glad we did.

2.) If you’re a parent, you’ll understand that “vacation” when you have kids should be loosely translated to “business trip with intermittent periods of fun.” It was so wonderful to be with family, but we came back from the trip (like any trip with tiny, energy-sucking humans) a little exhausted.

3.) Since I’ve been back I’ve been working furiously, preparing for our first year of….wait for it….HOMESCHOOLING…dun dun duuuuun. Yep, I must be insane because I said yes to this crazy thing when I felt God asking me to do it. I’m holding God on the hook for not allowing my kids (and me) to turn out to be total crazies by the end of this year. I say THIS YEAR, because I’m taking this thing one year at a time. That in itself feels like a ginormous commitment seeing as how I usually take life as a mom one DAY at a time. Ha. I will be writing about how that whole decision came about later, but for now I’ll just say I’m confident it’s the right one for our family for this year. (Maybe talk to me after I’m two weeks in. I could be singin’ a different tune by that time.)

4.) I’m completely and truly amazed by people who grocery shop successfully. I think we should give a nobel prize to those who do this regularly and with small children. My hero of a husband is the primary grocery shopper in our house and he claims to actually enjoy the job. While I secretly think this is probably a mark of insanity, I’m not arguing because there might be nothing I hate more than the grocery store. My poor husband is sick today and we were down to bare bones, so I loaded up the kids and went to pergatory Wal-mart. I nearly lost my salvation. And there are still some groceries on the counter waiting to be put away because I just. can. not. deal with the flipping groceries anymore.

5.) I’ve spent the rest of the day going through mail and paperwork, and I’ve decided that the administration of life should be outsourced. Big, ethically-questionable corporations do it, so why not our household? I’m officially contracting out the Fischer bills, class registrations, vaccination schedules, phone calls, mail, and record-keeping to a company in Asia. Details to follow. Don’t worry, I will pay fairly. Trust me, I know how excruciating this work is, and so I will compensate the dear employees of Fischer Admin, Inc. appropriately.

6.) Between numbers 4 and 5, I spent a short period on the floor in the fetal position, practicing deep breathing. I had an encounter with one of my children, who shall remain nameless, which resulted in no dessert and no screen time for said child. Now we are both ruing the day we were born because she has no screen time and I have no peace and quiet. No screen time = no bueno. Duly noted. I need to try to come up with a consequence next time that is not so consequential to Mom.

7.) My house is pretty out of control. It reminds me of an MTV reality show where a bunch of teenagers are left alone in a house for weeks with no adult supervision. I’m drowning in the laundry and the clutter and the migrating piles of mess. If you don’t hear from me in a week, send help.

8.) Oh yeah, I forgot about back to school shopping. We did that the other day—er, uh days. I have the battle scars to prove it. The thing about homeschool is you don’t have those handy dandy ready-made lists you can just grab on your way in the store. You have to make up your own list. I’m not really sure how to form the words to express how difficult shopping lists are for me. Ask my husband. I NEVER remember everything that needs to be on the list. And that’s for what we need to eat. To you know, survive. Educating my children is like, let’s see.. one, two, seventy-four steps above survival on the complicated scale, and our current list looks like the Gruffalo. (Hey, maybe we should read “The Gruffalo” the first week of school!) Anyway, I have random laundry baskets, plastic bags, storage totes, closets, and bookshelves full of an assortment of items that I now have to assemble in some sort of organized fashion. Hep me Jesus. [That’s not irreverent cursing, by the way, that’s an actual prayer.]

So, all in all, things are A-ok over here at the Fischer estate. Except, you know, for all the attitudes and sass and sickness and teething and chaos and overdue library books and pre-schoolyear panic. Other than that, right as rain.

Hope you’re enjoying your last few weeks of summer just as much as I am!


That face is my level of enjoyment. You can make of that what you will. Happy Friday!